One month in puzzles

It will be our fourth Sunday at the new Church tomorrow. This month has been an enigma to me. Yes, I actually used the word enigma. How about puzzle, or something of the like. I don't know if you like puzzles, but maybe you can relate to the feelings associated with cleaning off the cluttered kitchen table, bringing the 1000 piece puzzle out of the closet ( or the blue wal-mart bag you just carried into the house.), opening the cardboard box with a butter knife, prying the box open hoping not to mess up the picture lid, and dumping the pieces out - flipping them over -trying to find all the edge pieces.

Yup. This is the enigma of my new life: Excitement, fear, idealism, skepticism, confidence, being unsure, chasing ghosts of the past, imagining the possibility of the future. This is my enigmatic, puzzle life.

This month I have:

Said good-bye to the people that were the closest to me.
Said hello to some of the old and to many of the new people in my life.
Watched my family grieve over many losses,
but laugh together in many happy gains.
Been hurt by my expectations of a few.
Been encouraged by the love and faith others have in me.
Forgotten some the the short-cuts on my old pick-up routes.
Learned the new pick up route and when to drive past the schools ( and when not to.)
Felt totally out-of-place in my old home town.
Felt totally at-home in my old home town.
Prayed for all of my old friends and coworkers.
Prayed with some of the youth and members of the new church and learned how I can begin to pray for my coworkers.
Grieved over the loss of a ministry, the anniversary of my Grandpap and Annie (my old band-mate) deaths.
Rejoiced with others in the new ministry at a community Thanksgiving Dinner, laughed with my son on his 8th birthday and been blessed by the time I now have to spend with my husband, daughter and son.

It's been a busy month.

Open my eyes to the beauty around me, loosen my joy and allow it to come out in my voice so that it can make every jig-sawed corner fit in the way and time it is intended. This puzzle doesn't need to be completed today - I need to allow
God to help me look for the hope in all circumstances, and not allow the scars of the past to keep me from enjoying each piece of the puzzle.