Generation Y Bother?

THE GENERATION Y-BOTHER GUIDE TO YOUTH MINISTRY

So you’ve made the big step of answering the call to Youth Ministry. This orientation guide is designed to prepare you for a lifetime of impacting young people with the gospel of Jesus Christ – or at least keep you busy for the next few months until you decide to go back to school to become a real pastor.

DATING – Parishioners have the right to take an unhealthy interest in any romantic relationships you may pursue. There are really only two socially acceptable dating options for you to choose between. The first is to long-distance date a “special friend” who’s far away at Bible School. This will allow the women’s group to gossip about your personal life to their hearts content while making it impossible to imply that you’re having sex. The other option is to avoid the romance-thing altogether by declaring that you’re “dating Jesus.” It has an added benefit of making you appear more spiritual -- at least until that fox in youth group graduates high school and you invite her to join you and Jesus for a threesome.

NAMING YOUR GROUP - It may be hard to believe, but there are some unimaginative churches that actually refer to the youth group as “the youth group.” You must not do this! It’s very important that you choose a name that will make your group stand out from the crowd, communicate the vitality of youth, and be at least five to fifteen years out of date. Some suggestions are God it Goin’ On Youth and Teens in Jeans Power Hour.

PARENTS - Otherwise known as The Enemy. It will amaze you to no end that people without any training in youth ministry act like experts about teens just because they feed, clothe, and shelter them! Parents are the people who will quench the Spirit in your ministry by asking inane questions like, “Why did you play an R-Rated movie at the youth overnighter?” Avoid them at all costs.


PRIORITIES – Church committees learned a long time ago that a youth group is cheap labor, so you can expect many backbreaking “ministry opportunities” to come your way. You will quickly discover that you can’t say yes to them all. When prioritizing between two conflicting calendar items it will be helpful to ask yourself which one is more likely to get a write-up in the denominational newsletter. You wouldn’t want to miss out on a reward because no one was watching, would you?


TEACHING – If you’re like most youth ministers, this is the area where you’ll feel most inadequate. But cheer up – at your age nobody really expects you to know much about anything yet anyhow. And armed with enough icebreaker games, video curriculum, and Christian CDs you may never have to crack open a Bible during your whole tenure!

WORKING HOURS – A church will commonly expect its youth pastor to work an average fifteen-hour day. (They are after all paying your ten-thousand dollar a year salary!) Some especially legalistic churches may even demand that you to be in the office before 10 am and show up on time for church events. The good news is that it is possible to work a hundred-and-five hour workweek and have a life at the same time. Get creative! Write down that two-hour lunch at Wendy’s as visitation – you did speak to that young person behind the counter after all! Reading your devotions and praying count as message preparation. Even watching DVDs and playing video games counts as researching youth culture if you’re diligent enough to right it down.

We hope you find this guide helpful, but always remember that a truly successful ministry is built on your knees. It’s a great posture to assume when begging for your job back with the church board.