My Present Philospophy of Spiritual Formation

Using the boat as a pulpit, he addressed his congregation, telling stories.

"What do you make of this? A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the seed, some of it fell on the road, and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn't put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the weeds. Some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.

"Are you listening to this? Really listening” (Peterson 35)?

The story of the sower and the seeds has shaped my thinking about spirituality throughout my life. Growing up, I often heard it referenced in conversations regarding people who had walked away from the faith. I vividly recall lying in my bed one evening as a teenager, wondering if perhaps I were a seed that had the misfortune of landing in the weeds. My life was a cycle of moral defeat, guilt, and resolutions to be a better Christian. Raised in the Pentecostal tradition, I believed that someday I would have an altar experience that would deliver me from sin and temptation. This experience, as I imagined it, would also impart an instant maturity.

I felt stuck in my spiritual life with no guidance as to how press onward. I relate with the frustration of Gordon MacDonald when he writes, “...the pursuit of internal organization has been a lonely struggle because, frankly, I have found that there is almost a universal reluctance to be candid and practical about these affairs. Much preaching on these matters is done in lofty terms that leave the hearer moved emotionally but unable to move specifically. More than once I have read a book or listened to a presentation on getting the spiritual life together, agreed with every word, and then realized that the proposed process was elusive and indefinite” (9).

I read two books during my twenties that greatly changed my thinking regarding the Christian walk. Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald showed me that the spiritual life had to be intentionally pursued if it was to mature. Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster offered a practical strategy for growth.

Foster proposes the practice of spiritual disciplines as a “...means of grace” (7) by which individuals can open themselves up to God’s transforming work. The disciplines themselves are not the transformation. Nor are the disciplines a set of practices that make a person righteous. Spiritual disciplines are simply a method of placing one’s self in a state of receptivity to God. As the author cautions, “We cannot attain or earn this righteousness of the kingdom of God; it is a grace that is given” (6).

I found something so liberating in Foster’s ideas that I quickly read all of his books. Classical Christian disciplines were incorporated into my daily routine and I experienced a great deal of spiritual growth. For the first time in my life I was experiencing a relationship with God rather than merely talking about one.

My desire for a deeper understanding of Christian spirituality led me to this graduate degree program. It has not disappointed. Two books in particular have confronted and challenged me this semester, M. Robert Mulholland’s Invitation to a Journey and Reginald Johnson’s Your Personality and the Spiritual Life.

Mulholland defines spiritual formation as the “process of being conformed to the image of Christ for the sake of others" (15), which revealed that my goals for my Christian walk to be rather unambitious in comparison. I was content with being merely spiritual when only Christlikeness will do. I pursued comfort, when “the process of being conformed to the image of Christ takes place primarily at the points of our unlikeness to Christ’s image” (37). I valued my solitude above all, but a life lived for others reflects the character of Christ "who gave himself totally, completely, absolutely, unconditionally for others" (41). Reading Johnson further challenged my assumptions of community when he states, “Since none of us possesses all the qualities of personality in perfect symmetry, we need each other for balance and wholeness” (19).

It occurred to me that my interest in spiritual formation up to this point in my life has hurt me as much as it has helped me. In some cases, my preference for introversion had actually subverted my practice of the disciplines into a way of avoiding community and transformation. Clearly, a response on my part to these excesses is required.

Real, lasting change will require more than my good intentions. Market researcher George Barna cautions that, “...most born-again adults are limited in their ability to grow spiritually because they have failed to set any goals for their spiritual development, failed to develop standards against which to measure their growth, or failed to establish procedures for being held accountable for their growth” (36). I will heed this insight.

The goal that I have set for my spiritual development over the next year is to observe each of the fourteen classical spiritual disciplines. I have categorized the practices into daily, weekly, monthly, and annual observances. It is my personal rule of life.

To measure my growth, I will meditate weekly on Philippians 5:22 (NIV), “...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” This provides a list of characteristics with which I can evaluate my previous seven days of thoughts and deeds.

To hold myself accountable, I will weekly read through my rule of life, meet monthly with a spiritual director, and participate monthly in a spiritual formation group.

I recently reread the parable of the sower and the seeds in my morning devotions. I no longer picture myself as a seed tossed by the winds of fate into a patch of weeds. My purpose is to tend to my soil -- pulling out the weeds, clearing away the gravel -- so the seeds of the kingdom can spring forth unhindered.

I am listening, Lord. Really listening.


WORKS CITED

Barna, George. Growing True Disciples. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook, 2001.

Foster, Richard J. Celebration of Discipline. New York, NY: Harper & Row, 1988.

Johnson, Reginald. Your Personality and the Spiritual Life. Gainesville, FL: CAPT, 1999.

MacDonald, Gordon. Ordering Your Private World. Nashville, TN: Oliver-Nelson, 1985.

Mulholland, M. Robert. Invitation to a Journey. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1993.

Peterson, Eugene H. The Message: New Testament. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 1996.