Where is the love?

No matter how blended, unique or challenged our family life may be, I don't think too many of us can stand on the same ground as Hamlet. Sure, not many of us have royal blood coursing through our veins; but after reading one of Shakespeare's most widely performed tragedies—maybe that's a really good thing.

Hamlet, away at school, returns home to find his father dead and his mother remarried to his uncle. Only two months has passed since his father's untimely death and Hamlet is besought with grief and horror at his mother's impulsiveness. This is the typical, "I can't believe you could every love anyone but Dad!” reaction when a widow remarries. But Hamlet goes beyond the typical reaction by calling his mother's remarriage an "incestuous relationship." Take a disgruntled, spoiled son, a duped but truly happily remarried mom, plotting politicians and the revengeful ghost of a murdered father; and you have a perfect panel of guests to appear on the Springer show—no questions asked.

Everywhere the reader looks in this play they find tragedy, death and dishonesty; but the one thing everyone seems to be looking for is truth, beauty and love. Unspoiled and sincere love is what is sadly missing in each of the character's lives. Hamlet loves Ophelia, but denies her his attentions after the ghost of his father incites him to murder. The ghost incites Hamlet to revenge his death because "his wife" is now married to his murdering brother. Claudius murdered his brother not only to gain his crown, but the affection of Gertrude. Gertrude, lost in the loss of her first husband and attracted to married life unwittingly marries Claudius.

The lives and characters in Hamlet are unique and unpredictable. Just when you think Hamlet is going to tell the ghost of his father to shove off, he agrees to a life of revenge and an eternity of damnation. Even when there is opportunity to escape the revenge of his father, Hamlet is consumed by guilt and madness to destroy Claudius' happiness.

Hamlet sacrifices his and Ophelia's own happiness to his obsession with revenge. Hamlet privately refuses Ophelia’s love, but confuses her by showing her physical affection in public. Ophelia, caught between the wishes of her family and her own desire for Hamlet does nothing and becomes consumed with grief and loss. She allows herself to remain frozen between the hope of actualization and the tragic denial of her diminished dreams. Her loss of Hamlet and her Father's death leave her to madness and eventually death.

Claudius, demonized by Hamlet's rants, prays to God for forgiveness for his desire for power and the murder of his brother. However sincere his prayer of forgiveness is, he is unable to recognize that the continued brutality and plotting against Hamlet is wrong.

Gertrude seems to be the only character through the play that love's her life, or at least tries to make the best of it. She loved her first husband dearly but instead of resigning herself to widower, she remarries and loves her second husband passionately.

Shakespeare's characters are human beings.

The characters in this play are not flat cookie-cutter produced roles. Human beings are unpredictable, they lie, they tell the truth, they sin, they repent, they live and they die.

The occurrence of madness in this play is more than a facade' put on by Hamlet or the venue of expression for a woman with dashed dreams. The madness of Hamlet is that the love each character so desperately desires is well within their reach. Yes there is murder and wrong doing, but if Hamlet's father would have truly loved his son - would he have asked him to kill for him? If Ophelia was lost without Hamlet, she could have learned from the Queen that love can be found again. Hamlet needed to see that his father's revenge really didn't belong to him. Hamlet could have been a creative, intelligent leader, but his life that brimmed with potential was wasted in the pursuit of revenge. Sadly, Hamlet didn't see his misguided focus until death had consumed his entire family and eventually himself.

Hindsight is said to be 20/20. Revenge is death. Children pay for the sins of their fathers. The themes that encompass Hamlet are as many as the sayings from it that are still popular today. Thematically speaking, the need for love in this tragedy speaks to my heart.

So many times, I know what is right and good and loving—and I don't go after it hard or long enough. I allow love to slip though my hands too easily. I resign myself to revenge, bitterness or despair all because I think that the real deal is beyond my reach.

If I really want to build that sandcastle, I need a shovel, a pail, and maybe even a John Deere backhoe to do things right. The tide of life pulls hard to pull away our hopes and dreams, but love is the glue that can hold things together. A castle made of sand is vulnerable to the elements that wear at its foundation and surface. Sometimes we have to move our castle to a safer location or sometimes we have to stand guard to make sure no one tramples it, but we have some say in how things in life ends up. We can’t stop trying. Madness occurs when love, unselfish love is abandoned like a sandcastle built too close to the shore. Even if all we can do is stand guard, at least we’ll gain a great story and a little wisdom from a life well lived and loved. Maybe I protest too much, but if I don't protest for love who will?