In the smiling face, that was wracked with pain.
In the the relationships that were dead, come to life again.
In the courage and hope I feel growing within me -
I see Jesus walking 'round in the lives around me.
In the doors that were locked and bolted tight,
I feel warmed, welcomed and drawn in by the light.
In the everyday way that you come up in our speech,
like the best best friend that we haven't seen for weeks.
The hearts desire is to see you, to be you, to understand how to relate -
to someone so holy, so willing and so full of grace.
My eyes are now open, don't let them shut tight -
cause I need to see Jesus walking through all parts of me life.
_________________________________________________________________
This is something I wrote today - I've seen God working in some fantastic ways recently. I supposed this is my way of saying "Thank - you"!
Peace,
Tara
Monday, May 22, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
23 hours and 55 minutes to go...
Have you ever noticed how many people spend much of their life swimming around in misery - never taking the time to "notice" the magnificant.
A friend of mine once said - how much would the wourld change if upon waking each person would be thankful for waking up, the pillow under their head, the roof over their head, the pile of clothes on the floor, the carpet on the floor, the water that runs in thier shower. toilet and kitchen sink.
Just those few things and they wouldn't even be out the door for the day yet..not even the first five minutes and there is so much to be thankful for...
What about the other 23 hours and 55 minutes.
Minutes full of:
Plenty of food
The ability we have to "choose" what we "want" to eat.
Healthy children
Access to doctor to make us well
Spouses that love us
A heart the beats
The beat of music coming from my car's speakers
So much..
to
Be
thankful
for...
Help me to share.
Thanks be to God - in all circumstances.
I've been the client
I've been the caretaker.
Thanks be to God - in all circumstances.
In struggle
In pain
In loss
In lonliness
In heartache
In misunderstandings
In hurt
In all things - Thanks be to God.
A friend of mine once said - how much would the wourld change if upon waking each person would be thankful for waking up, the pillow under their head, the roof over their head, the pile of clothes on the floor, the carpet on the floor, the water that runs in thier shower. toilet and kitchen sink.
Just those few things and they wouldn't even be out the door for the day yet..not even the first five minutes and there is so much to be thankful for...
What about the other 23 hours and 55 minutes.
Minutes full of:
Plenty of food
The ability we have to "choose" what we "want" to eat.
Healthy children
Access to doctor to make us well
Spouses that love us
A heart the beats
The beat of music coming from my car's speakers
So much..
to
Be
thankful
for...
Help me to share.
Thanks be to God - in all circumstances.
I've been the client
I've been the caretaker.
Thanks be to God - in all circumstances.
In struggle
In pain
In loss
In lonliness
In heartache
In misunderstandings
In hurt
In all things - Thanks be to God.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
The turkeys are out to get me...
So I have been all jazzed since I picked up my car on Monday. It's really a nice ride and I'm SOOOOO thankful for it.
I'm on my way home today an I'm running late ( of course) to get Heather and Nigel from their afterschool program - so I'm pushing the speed limit.
Wham!
Out of nowhere a very large turkey takes off in flight right in front of me (I was close to Donaldson Road - Busti, NY). I'm yelling...
"oh no oh no oh no, please no!" as the crazy bird propells itself at the drivers side of my front window.
I ducked.
No joke - I tapped the brake, winced and then
I ducked...
and I missed the turkey.
I don't know where he went. In fact I don't really care - as long as he was out of my way.
My heart was pounding - and I bet the turkey's was too.
Thankfully, my new wheels are still turkey free. I hope they stay that way.
I'm on my way home today an I'm running late ( of course) to get Heather and Nigel from their afterschool program - so I'm pushing the speed limit.
Wham!
Out of nowhere a very large turkey takes off in flight right in front of me (I was close to Donaldson Road - Busti, NY). I'm yelling...
"oh no oh no oh no, please no!" as the crazy bird propells itself at the drivers side of my front window.
I ducked.
No joke - I tapped the brake, winced and then
I ducked...
and I missed the turkey.
I don't know where he went. In fact I don't really care - as long as he was out of my way.
My heart was pounding - and I bet the turkey's was too.
Thankfully, my new wheels are still turkey free. I hope they stay that way.
New Car = Drooling
On Monday I traded my worn out green dodge caravan for a Buick Skylark. It was time for a change after spending so much on upkeep on the well used "Grandma Van" ( may it rest in peace). Usually when people trade a vehicle they go for less years - miles - etc...
We'll never to be the one to go the common road - I traded for a car made the same year (93) - less miles and previously owned by one owner. The car is red and silver (I say with a smile) - had been taken care of like some people do their children - the engine is even clean for heavens sake! Power everything, cruise contol, cassette so I can use my cd adapter to have music pumping through the bass boosted speakers, and gas milage that well exceeds the previous vehicle ( 141 miles on less that 1/2 a tank of gas!). In fact, I love driving it! So far here are a few of the comments on the new wheels...
" Well oh la la ..."
" That is brand new isnt it..."
" Now I can see who makes all the cash (ha I work for a non-profit agency)"
" I drove my Buick up to 300,000 miles - you'll have years with this car..."
" Mom, can I have this when I turn 16?"
" Mom, It looks like a hot wheels car!"
I hope that I have many years to drive this baby - In fact I think that I might name it. Do you have any ideas? Comment away!
Peace and 6 cylinders...
We'll never to be the one to go the common road - I traded for a car made the same year (93) - less miles and previously owned by one owner. The car is red and silver (I say with a smile) - had been taken care of like some people do their children - the engine is even clean for heavens sake! Power everything, cruise contol, cassette so I can use my cd adapter to have music pumping through the bass boosted speakers, and gas milage that well exceeds the previous vehicle ( 141 miles on less that 1/2 a tank of gas!). In fact, I love driving it! So far here are a few of the comments on the new wheels...
" Well oh la la ..."
" That is brand new isnt it..."
" Now I can see who makes all the cash (ha I work for a non-profit agency)"
" I drove my Buick up to 300,000 miles - you'll have years with this car..."
" Mom, can I have this when I turn 16?"
" Mom, It looks like a hot wheels car!"
I hope that I have many years to drive this baby - In fact I think that I might name it. Do you have any ideas? Comment away!
Peace and 6 cylinders...
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Crashing the revival
How many times have I gone to a retreat, gleaned a wonderful truth concerning the state of my life and spiritual growth only to have a fiasco or drama fest knock me on my holy butt before the sun has set and the sleeping bags are packed away until the next road trip.
This time the crash, fiaso and drama didn't wait until sunset, or the arrival home. I had a "issue" even before we drove off on the road to home - even before we were all loaded into the van with our gear.
I was dissapointed, angry, wanted to cry and yell, and almost did all of those things. Instead, I muttered to God - "Why am I the one that has to deal with this?" I instantly felt the words wash over my mind and spirit - "Because you are the one that can help in this situation. You had to see it, so that you could be a source of hope and healing."
Odd. How is it in my very human nature that I can possibly be a source of help and healing when I'm fuming mad, sad and frustrated all at once? I'm still not sure of how I'm to repair this particular problem, but I do know that God wants me in there looking out for the hurting hearts.
I'm praying for wisdom and strength, I'm here to help work it out, and I'm supposed to be even though it's hard to do. I'm not alone and the crash is not bigger than God - I feel like I'm an EMT.
In a way, I suppose that I am.
This time the crash, fiaso and drama didn't wait until sunset, or the arrival home. I had a "issue" even before we drove off on the road to home - even before we were all loaded into the van with our gear.
I was dissapointed, angry, wanted to cry and yell, and almost did all of those things. Instead, I muttered to God - "Why am I the one that has to deal with this?" I instantly felt the words wash over my mind and spirit - "Because you are the one that can help in this situation. You had to see it, so that you could be a source of hope and healing."
Odd. How is it in my very human nature that I can possibly be a source of help and healing when I'm fuming mad, sad and frustrated all at once? I'm still not sure of how I'm to repair this particular problem, but I do know that God wants me in there looking out for the hurting hearts.
I'm praying for wisdom and strength, I'm here to help work it out, and I'm supposed to be even though it's hard to do. I'm not alone and the crash is not bigger than God - I feel like I'm an EMT.
In a way, I suppose that I am.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Love and stargazing
The other day, I was reading a blog of my dear friend Mary concerning some new insights she had about her new job. Shes always great at finding the glimmers of light wherever she is - so she found an elderly couple that a completely in love and care for each other.
Her comments got me thinking.
I went to a review meeting - it happens every year at this time - for my church and many people had much to say about the service and ministry that is taking place there - which is all well and good. But I couldn't help but feel challenged to mention the importance of "vision and adaptation" (ie Mary seeing beauty/love in a place where others don't or can't see it).
Ministry in particular, is a field where a balance must be kept between the practical needs of the people, the teaching and growing of new disciples and stargazing.
Stargazing?
Yes stargazing.
In the Old Testament God challenged Abraham to look to the skies and process the thought that his decendents would be as many as (if not more than) the stars in the sky. At this time both he and his wife were elderly and hadn't been able to bear ANY children. Thousands of decendents? One child alone would have been a miracle at this point and stage of life... but God gave Abraham more that a miracle - he gave him hope for his future and really the overall future of mankind.
Life is rather like this. I know I often look around and think, "Man, how is this ever going to work out." and " Gee, I hope that people come to the show I'm try to set up." How about the classic, " I just think I don't fit here, there or everywhere..." .
Whatever the doubt, fear, or frustration - I need to remember to look up and see things from a stargazers point of view.
Now some would say that this is simply an idealistic point of view, or just another poets or dreamer's vision of what could be possible if. Well, heres the thing.
Just like Abraham, each one of us has a sky full of stars to look at and be inspired by. God has given all of us a piece of sky to work with and my question to myself is, "...now what can we do with all this?"
First, I need to look up and take a peek at the "sky/stars" God is showing me.
Two, I need to ask the questions like, "Now what could be done with that?"
Three, I need to stop and try to listen to God's direction on what to do with my piece of sky.
Four, I need to trust God with the placement, pattern and passion for all the "stars" in my life.
This stargazing is not something that can be summed up in following four steps. It's way to etheral for that, but it helps to sort it out in a way I can start to understand it.
I have to admit that I'm the kind of person that enjoys stargazing and envisioning the possibilites and the what ifs of life. I grab onto one, see how it shines, tell other people about it, try to get them to see how amazing it is and try to grow that possibility into a probability, to an opportunity, and finally a fact of life.
However, there is the catch for me. Sometimes there are so many glimmers out there I'm not always sure where to start. Or maybe the glimmer turns out different than I thought it would be. Alas, the sun looks like a tiny star from here, but if you get to close it can vaporize you. But, I will not stop stargazing, even if I occasionally get burned because the amount of potential that surrounds us every day is blinding - if only we ask for the eyes to see it.
Just like the sun warms and provides light to an entire solar system - imagine the brillance of a thousand suns. Remember, the sun is a star too; it's just a little ways away. So look up and ask God what stars are in your sky, what you find there could light up a life that was filled with darkness. That light could fill up the entire universe - only if we ask for eyes to see it. Open my eyes - I need to see some stars.
Peace,
Tara
Her comments got me thinking.
I went to a review meeting - it happens every year at this time - for my church and many people had much to say about the service and ministry that is taking place there - which is all well and good. But I couldn't help but feel challenged to mention the importance of "vision and adaptation" (ie Mary seeing beauty/love in a place where others don't or can't see it).
Ministry in particular, is a field where a balance must be kept between the practical needs of the people, the teaching and growing of new disciples and stargazing.
Stargazing?
Yes stargazing.
In the Old Testament God challenged Abraham to look to the skies and process the thought that his decendents would be as many as (if not more than) the stars in the sky. At this time both he and his wife were elderly and hadn't been able to bear ANY children. Thousands of decendents? One child alone would have been a miracle at this point and stage of life... but God gave Abraham more that a miracle - he gave him hope for his future and really the overall future of mankind.
Life is rather like this. I know I often look around and think, "Man, how is this ever going to work out." and " Gee, I hope that people come to the show I'm try to set up." How about the classic, " I just think I don't fit here, there or everywhere..." .
Whatever the doubt, fear, or frustration - I need to remember to look up and see things from a stargazers point of view.
Now some would say that this is simply an idealistic point of view, or just another poets or dreamer's vision of what could be possible if. Well, heres the thing.
Just like Abraham, each one of us has a sky full of stars to look at and be inspired by. God has given all of us a piece of sky to work with and my question to myself is, "...now what can we do with all this?"
First, I need to look up and take a peek at the "sky/stars" God is showing me.
Two, I need to ask the questions like, "Now what could be done with that?"
Three, I need to stop and try to listen to God's direction on what to do with my piece of sky.
Four, I need to trust God with the placement, pattern and passion for all the "stars" in my life.
This stargazing is not something that can be summed up in following four steps. It's way to etheral for that, but it helps to sort it out in a way I can start to understand it.
I have to admit that I'm the kind of person that enjoys stargazing and envisioning the possibilites and the what ifs of life. I grab onto one, see how it shines, tell other people about it, try to get them to see how amazing it is and try to grow that possibility into a probability, to an opportunity, and finally a fact of life.
However, there is the catch for me. Sometimes there are so many glimmers out there I'm not always sure where to start. Or maybe the glimmer turns out different than I thought it would be. Alas, the sun looks like a tiny star from here, but if you get to close it can vaporize you. But, I will not stop stargazing, even if I occasionally get burned because the amount of potential that surrounds us every day is blinding - if only we ask for the eyes to see it.
Just like the sun warms and provides light to an entire solar system - imagine the brillance of a thousand suns. Remember, the sun is a star too; it's just a little ways away. So look up and ask God what stars are in your sky, what you find there could light up a life that was filled with darkness. That light could fill up the entire universe - only if we ask for eyes to see it. Open my eyes - I need to see some stars.
Peace,
Tara
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Camp=Magic
I am taking six teens to Camp Allegheny this coming weekend and I think (I pray) that everything is all in order and ready for the trip. I was worried about the number of students that could attend, if the camp would refund the money we sent for those who now can't go ( I just found out they will - whew!) , and if all the parents know all the details of the trip. Organizing my own life can be hairy enough at times - let alone life's details for 6 teens and all that comes along with being responsible for them for the weekend.
We've had some great hopes for the opportunity this weekend away provides for our group and the individuals that are attending. Time to grow spiritually and socially as well as the time to "unplug" from the regular burdens and duties from home.
I love the fluttery feeling I get in the pit of my stomach right before a decent road trip. Possibility, opportunity and adventure all tied up in the span of 2 1/2 days, 6 teens, 4 chaparones ( including me) and the new people and old camp friends that we will get to see.
Camp is a magical place - I wish I could take all of you with me!
We've had some great hopes for the opportunity this weekend away provides for our group and the individuals that are attending. Time to grow spiritually and socially as well as the time to "unplug" from the regular burdens and duties from home.
I love the fluttery feeling I get in the pit of my stomach right before a decent road trip. Possibility, opportunity and adventure all tied up in the span of 2 1/2 days, 6 teens, 4 chaparones ( including me) and the new people and old camp friends that we will get to see.
Camp is a magical place - I wish I could take all of you with me!
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