How many times have I gone to a retreat, gleaned a wonderful truth concerning the state of my life and spiritual growth only to have a fiasco or drama fest knock me on my holy butt before the sun has set and the sleeping bags are packed away until the next road trip.
This time the crash, fiaso and drama didn't wait until sunset, or the arrival home. I had a "issue" even before we drove off on the road to home - even before we were all loaded into the van with our gear.
I was dissapointed, angry, wanted to cry and yell, and almost did all of those things. Instead, I muttered to God - "Why am I the one that has to deal with this?" I instantly felt the words wash over my mind and spirit - "Because you are the one that can help in this situation. You had to see it, so that you could be a source of hope and healing."
Odd. How is it in my very human nature that I can possibly be a source of help and healing when I'm fuming mad, sad and frustrated all at once? I'm still not sure of how I'm to repair this particular problem, but I do know that God wants me in there looking out for the hurting hearts.
I'm praying for wisdom and strength, I'm here to help work it out, and I'm supposed to be even though it's hard to do. I'm not alone and the crash is not bigger than God - I feel like I'm an EMT.
In a way, I suppose that I am.
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