Am I lost - or are you?

I was considering a statement shared with me the other day, because the sheer impact of it caused me to have such a strong reaction.

"I met so-in-so from your old church the other day. They said they knew you really well and that they really felt they lost you to your new church."

I was shocked to hear this statement, and was unable to have a very graceful reaction. Actually, I think I said something like, "Really? They said that? Wow, I never would have thought they'd say that. Well, it's a long story. A really long story."

Smooth, wasn't I? So I changed the subject asap and tried to brush it off.

I find that as soon as I make some serious steps towards healing over some of those old hurts - someone (usually unbenounced to them) pokes me in a tender spot. Never mind who said these words, never mind if I think they "knew" me at all, but the words associated with "lost" were too great a reminder of all the losses over the last few months. Not surprisingly - the word "lost" stuck with me.

I really don't want to rehash the past anymore. I've been praying for God to continue to heal my heart and help me to start over in challenging new opportunities, and I feel that the process of healing has begun. But then this little word "lost" causes my mind to spin with all the old memories. I was beginning to feel rather lost in the midst of all this flashing back, but in a moment of clarity the compass of my mind took another look at the words that were said.

"They lost you (me)." I didn't lose anything at all. They were the ones that "lost" someone.

Wow. After all the prayers, pleading and passion for our old church -- they were the ones that lost. They lost our gifts, our many hours of hard work, our interaction with staff and community and... well, us.

I still have my God, my family and my work. As challenging as it can be - God preserved the ministry opportunities and our security. God kept us from becoming or being lost.

There is a scripture that says something like this ... "things men intend to harm others with, God redeems for good."

I know that there are memories from our previous ministry that will always stay with me and those are things that will never be lost to me. God has worked out this whole situation -- and I know this is where I'm called for the present time. The only thing I want to lose is the strain I feel when people try to pull me back to the place I was a few months ago.
I've moved on. You've lost us. Let us go.

God has redeemed our lives for good, and that is what I want it to be. A good life.