I went to the ever expanding Wal-Mart the other day to find H&R Block set up in the middle of the jewelry department. I couldn't help but wonder if the ladies working at the counter get a commission off of every person that spends a portion of their instant tax rebate on their vast array of average bling-bling. It's interesting to me that the larger Walmart grows the odder it's services become. Honestly, do you want financial advice from and individual sitting across from you while dazed shoppers pass by the triangle of metal mesh screen that's surrounded by end-caps overflowing with music-boxes on one side and fuzzy slippers on the other?
I'm just as bad as everyone else when it comes to going back to the big W to do my shopping basics. It's cheaper, it's all under one roof, but I recognize that buying my contacts there may be o.k. - but taxes... can you say "audit"?
It could be that all this aggression I'm feeling stems from the fact that the reason I went there, to pick up a DVD, failed while looking through miles of white, metal shelves and blue vested workers.
I caught the flick "City of Angels" on cable the other night when I had drank too much coffee too close to bedtime, and yes - I cried through the last twenty minutes of it. To be honest, I cried myself to sleep over the "saddest-ending-in-the-world!" That was a good flick. I wanted to watch it again. Maybe part of me wanted to make sure I hadn't gotten it wrong. Naw. I just wanted the emotional roller-coaster to call my own.
The guy behind the electronics counter said, "It's to old of a movie. We don't have it. Check at the mall or online. They'll have it there, I'm sure."
Ok, back up.
Comment 1:"It's to old of a movie."
First, "City of Angels" was made in 1998 - is that old? If you guys only carry films that are "New" then why is there a bin of old Abbot and Costello cut-outs sitting at the entrance of Electronics?
Comment 2: "We don't have it."
I don't think I've ever heard this one before. Walmart doesn't have everything. Really? I've been taking the "one stop shopping" line too seriously. Listen to me now world. Walmart doesn't sell everything there is to sell. What a revolution there would be if this secret gets out.
Comment 3: "Check at the mall or online. They'll have it there, I'm sure."
First, my item was too old. Second, they didn't have it. Now for the most astounding experience I've had while bargain shopping (besides being magically drawn to the clearance section of Kmart that was illuminated by a blue flashing light.)
I was told to buy it somewhere else.
Somewhere else? Mall, Internet...really? I knew that, but it just seemed so scary but freeing knowing that, I could look elsewhere for my DVD and the guy at Walmart had given me his blessing to go on with my crusade. I could go out the door, back to the comforts of my own home and the endless opportunities awaiting on the sea of internet shopping; or over to my local movie store - where the staff wears some kind of color coordinated identity wear - but there the color won't be blue.
I still haven't picked up my DVD. I think I may wait a while to see if I really liked it as much as I thought I did, before I take my entertainment crusade any further. That may be a good thing for me to remember the next time I go shopping at the big W. If they didn't have all those things I dump into my cart every week or so - would I buy them elsewhere, or would I live my life without them without any real difficulty? I know that it's a necessity to buy stuff like: toilet paper, shampoo, and dryer sheets; but all the things I think I need? Do I really? I think that I need to think more about this one.
As for H&R Block setting up in the middle of the big W, I think that is one department I'll avoid. There are some situations in life that you need to got to a specialized merchant, in order to receive the best service. You may see me digging through a discount bin for an "old" movie, but you won't see me cashing in my refund at a jewelry counter. Taxes are taxes, and there are no blue light specials or clearance sections in my accountants office.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
A World of Bill Cullens
Andy Warhol once said, "In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." Well, my friend, the future is now. I channel surf around E! and VH1 and constantly ask myself, who in the world are all these people? Perhaps the excess of reality TV shows is resulting in a glut of instant celebrities... And it's not like we were really in need of any more. Did you know that it just occurred to me today that Karen Valentine and Sally Field are two entirely different people? Too many celebs competing for too little attention span...
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Born with an mp3 player in his hand...
N--, my eight year-old son, is in a play his elementary school is doing about John Henry. We've been practicing his lines every night for the last two weeks. The other night I started singing John Henry and he was amazed to find out that there was a song "about his play." We went up on the 'net tonight to record a version he could play for his class. I let him pick from a variety of recordings and he liked the Johnny Cash version best. Say what you like, the boy's got taste...
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Open Mouth, Insert Foot
Regarding all the tsunami coverage in the news... Can it truly be that both Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, self-appointed PR hacks for God, managed to make it through the media blitz without once making any insensitive, offensive, or just plain dumb statements that they had to retract later? This truly is a miracle!
Thursday, January 20, 2005
The Wittenburg Door
Can religion and humor co-exist? You betcha. Open The Wittenburg Door and wait to be smited.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Happy Anniversary
It has been exactly one year since the residents of Experiment House began this blog. We originally questioned if we had enough to say to actually maintain a blog, but here we are over 100,000 words later with no signs of stopping. So I thought it would be appropriate to take a look at where we've been with gratitude, and it is in that spirit that I present my own version of the Academy Awards -- The Bloscars...
MR. X'S BEST POSTING OF 2004: MORNING AT THE DMV
I was initially perplexed when Mr. X approached me about contributing to the blog, because he never mentioned that he was interested in writing in the ten years that I've known him. He quickly established himself as the most consistently humorous writer at Experiment House. He's funniest when he writes about the comedy of daily life and I think he was at his best with Morning at the DMV.
LAMONT'S BEST POSTING OF 2004: THE GIRL BEHIND THE SCREEN DOOR
This is the girl that kind of bucks the whole system and prefers poetry and heartfelt observations on life rather than the silliness than the rest of us spew out on a regular basis. And we love her for it. The Girl Behind The Screen Door is a fine piece of writing. This piece should be submitted for publication somewhere!
MISTEROBLIVIOUS' BEST POSTING OF 2004: TOP TEN THINGS ABOUT GEN-NEXT SERVICES
This guy is the pop culture king of Experiment House and I love his in-depth musings about music, television, and even cereal. I had a heck of a time singling out a favorite column, so I chose his top ten list for purely sentimental reasons: it was a laugh-out loud bit from an otherwise somber occasion...
OTHER BLOGGERS WHO WOULD MOST FIT INTO EXPERIMENT HOUSE:
TIE Michael Tyas of Life's a Journey and Sada of From The Mind of Sada. These guys are really on our wavelength, and I hope they take that as a compliment! Two high-quality blogs that are worth checking out on a regular basis! Both of them are from Ontario, too. Weird.
STRANGEST MOMENT OF 2004
Being contacted by the producers of ESPN's Cheap Seats after reading a glowing review of their show in this very blog.
NEATEST BYPRODUCT OF WRITING A BLOG
The improvement of writing skills that only happens by pluggin' away at a keyboard on a regular basis.
Well, that's it for the 2005 Bloscars. (Or is that 2004? I can never remember how those award things work.) 2004 was a year of extreme crisis, change and transition for me and I don't think I would have made it without the support of my friends at Experiment House and an outlet like the blog to express how I was feeling. Here's to 100,000 more words in 2005!
MR. X'S BEST POSTING OF 2004: MORNING AT THE DMV
I was initially perplexed when Mr. X approached me about contributing to the blog, because he never mentioned that he was interested in writing in the ten years that I've known him. He quickly established himself as the most consistently humorous writer at Experiment House. He's funniest when he writes about the comedy of daily life and I think he was at his best with Morning at the DMV.
LAMONT'S BEST POSTING OF 2004: THE GIRL BEHIND THE SCREEN DOOR
This is the girl that kind of bucks the whole system and prefers poetry and heartfelt observations on life rather than the silliness than the rest of us spew out on a regular basis. And we love her for it. The Girl Behind The Screen Door is a fine piece of writing. This piece should be submitted for publication somewhere!
MISTEROBLIVIOUS' BEST POSTING OF 2004: TOP TEN THINGS ABOUT GEN-NEXT SERVICES
This guy is the pop culture king of Experiment House and I love his in-depth musings about music, television, and even cereal. I had a heck of a time singling out a favorite column, so I chose his top ten list for purely sentimental reasons: it was a laugh-out loud bit from an otherwise somber occasion...
OTHER BLOGGERS WHO WOULD MOST FIT INTO EXPERIMENT HOUSE:
TIE Michael Tyas of Life's a Journey and Sada of From The Mind of Sada. These guys are really on our wavelength, and I hope they take that as a compliment! Two high-quality blogs that are worth checking out on a regular basis! Both of them are from Ontario, too. Weird.
STRANGEST MOMENT OF 2004
Being contacted by the producers of ESPN's Cheap Seats after reading a glowing review of their show in this very blog.
NEATEST BYPRODUCT OF WRITING A BLOG
The improvement of writing skills that only happens by pluggin' away at a keyboard on a regular basis.
Well, that's it for the 2005 Bloscars. (Or is that 2004? I can never remember how those award things work.) 2004 was a year of extreme crisis, change and transition for me and I don't think I would have made it without the support of my friends at Experiment House and an outlet like the blog to express how I was feeling. Here's to 100,000 more words in 2005!
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Remake Remodel
Is there a law that says Hollywood must remake everything?
The latest victim -- er property -- is The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
My tone probably suggests to you that I don't have high hopes for this project. You would be correct in that assumption.
Check out this quote by the director, Matthew Vaughn: "I've always wanted to make a spy movie, and our idea is like nothing you've ever seen before. The name is the only thing that's staying from the original show."
Is it just me or does it seem silly to make a movie based solely on the title of a 40 year-old TV show? I guess the studio could argue that the new project would have some name recognition, but honestly, U.N.C.L.E. isn't exactly one of syndication's great success stories. It just seems like this is a formula for failure -- give the movie a name that makes the uninitiated say huh? and a plot so removed from the original that you piss off its fans, i.e., the very people who would have been the first people in line on opening day.
MEMO TO HOLLYWOOD:
I would like to pitch a movie idea called THE DONNA REED SHOW. Donna Reed will not be in it, and that's not just because she died in 1986. No, it's rather because I envision the lead character played by a male albino midget. Oh yeah, and rather than being about the silly hijinx of a suburban family, THE DONNA REED SHOW -- THE MOTION PICTURE will instead be an erotic thriller set amidst the exciting backdrop of a round-the-world yacht race. I could really use the money, so please send me a movie contract.
Peace,
I.F.
P.S. Wait until you hear my treatment for I LOVE LUCY! (Hint: There isn't anyone in the cast with red hair!)
The latest victim -- er property -- is The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
My tone probably suggests to you that I don't have high hopes for this project. You would be correct in that assumption.
Check out this quote by the director, Matthew Vaughn: "I've always wanted to make a spy movie, and our idea is like nothing you've ever seen before. The name is the only thing that's staying from the original show."
Is it just me or does it seem silly to make a movie based solely on the title of a 40 year-old TV show? I guess the studio could argue that the new project would have some name recognition, but honestly, U.N.C.L.E. isn't exactly one of syndication's great success stories. It just seems like this is a formula for failure -- give the movie a name that makes the uninitiated say huh? and a plot so removed from the original that you piss off its fans, i.e., the very people who would have been the first people in line on opening day.
MEMO TO HOLLYWOOD:
I would like to pitch a movie idea called THE DONNA REED SHOW. Donna Reed will not be in it, and that's not just because she died in 1986. No, it's rather because I envision the lead character played by a male albino midget. Oh yeah, and rather than being about the silly hijinx of a suburban family, THE DONNA REED SHOW -- THE MOTION PICTURE will instead be an erotic thriller set amidst the exciting backdrop of a round-the-world yacht race. I could really use the money, so please send me a movie contract.
Peace,
I.F.
P.S. Wait until you hear my treatment for I LOVE LUCY! (Hint: There isn't anyone in the cast with red hair!)
Monday, January 17, 2005
Dreams
I have a rather lengthy drive to work everyday, so I've quickly learned that audio books are the commuter's best friend. I recently listened to (and enjoyed) Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore. One thing I noticed about the book was that he would cite again and again his patients' dreams and provide analysis. This got me thinking: who really dreams like that? I mean, I dream once in a great while, and they usually turn out to just be crazy stuff like my Star Wars post a few days ago. I certainly never dream with the kind of detail and clarity that would allow someone like Mr. Moore to interpret it through Freudian Analysis or Archetypal Criticism.
Until I finished the book. Now I dream all the time. Here's my latest:
Lamont and I are working together in full-time ministry again. We're working at a huge megachurch that is a cross between Willow Creek, Oral Roberts University, and the 1964 New York World's Fair. It is our first day and a coworker is showing us around the sprawling campus. Every once in awhile he brings us into a room to meet our fellow pastors. These people all tend to come off like televangelists: big smiles, big hair and big ministries. In fact, their chapels tend to look a lot like TV studios. I remind myself to not judge by appearances -- that after all, the success of these people is undeniable by the number of people in attendance.
Our tour guide also takes us by other rooms that tend to have smaller-type ministries -- mainly liturgical-type stuff without as many people. This looks really interesting to me, but our tour guide isn't interested in introducing us. I'm also somewhat disturbed that all of these "ministries" are all church-related activities with nary a food pantry or practical help to be found. I mention this to my coworker, but he isn't interested in talking about it.
Finally, he takes us to the back yard of the church. It is a big field with old playground equipment. He tells us that our emerging church-type ministry is across the field and over the hill. My wife and I cross the field when we are pounced upon by lions and dinosaurs! We manage to tip over the sliding board, killing the t-rex that it falls on. We're exhausted, but we can't rest because the growling lions are approaching....
Gee, I don't have any issues, do I?
Until I finished the book. Now I dream all the time. Here's my latest:
Lamont and I are working together in full-time ministry again. We're working at a huge megachurch that is a cross between Willow Creek, Oral Roberts University, and the 1964 New York World's Fair. It is our first day and a coworker is showing us around the sprawling campus. Every once in awhile he brings us into a room to meet our fellow pastors. These people all tend to come off like televangelists: big smiles, big hair and big ministries. In fact, their chapels tend to look a lot like TV studios. I remind myself to not judge by appearances -- that after all, the success of these people is undeniable by the number of people in attendance.
Our tour guide also takes us by other rooms that tend to have smaller-type ministries -- mainly liturgical-type stuff without as many people. This looks really interesting to me, but our tour guide isn't interested in introducing us. I'm also somewhat disturbed that all of these "ministries" are all church-related activities with nary a food pantry or practical help to be found. I mention this to my coworker, but he isn't interested in talking about it.
Finally, he takes us to the back yard of the church. It is a big field with old playground equipment. He tells us that our emerging church-type ministry is across the field and over the hill. My wife and I cross the field when we are pounced upon by lions and dinosaurs! We manage to tip over the sliding board, killing the t-rex that it falls on. We're exhausted, but we can't rest because the growling lions are approaching....
Gee, I don't have any issues, do I?
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Malfunction at the Junction
Well, it happened again... Yet another entertainment personality has had her boobs flop out in public. This time it was supermodel Naomi Campbell in Brazil. A few weeks ago it was alleged-actress Tara Reid, who gave photographers a unexpected peek at her (new improved) left boob. Just two recent examples of the wardrobe malfunction, a problem that is reaching gigantic proportions. No pun intended.
It's hard to believe that less than a year ago no one had ever heard the words wardrobe malfunction, let alone witnessed one. That all changed when 140 million television viewers watching Janet Jackson's Superbowl half-time show discovered just how chilly it was that night at the Houston Astrodome.
The thing that amazes me is that these malfunctions are continually happening to people who are beautiful as their chosen profession, just as some people flip burgers or fix cars as their profession. In other words, it is their job to be beautiful, and I assume that knowing how to wear clothes would at least be one of the branches in their knowledge tree. The reason I mention this is that I don't pay too much attention to what I'm wearing, and in all my 37 years my wardrobe has functioned just as it was intended. Sure, I've had the occasional open fly, but if that's usually my fault. Anyway, if my sale-rack Wal-Mart togs maintain my modesty on a regular basis, what's going on with these designer clothes? I assume that famous people's clothes are expensive and therefore of a very high quality. Perhaps the Beautiful People Union could go on strike until they could be assured by fashion designers that their clothes would be produced to a certain structural integrity. There could be sort of an ISO-9000 certification for the bustline...
The Wardrobe Malfunction. Some people say that it is the most perplexing problem facing modern man. Other people say it's the greatest blessing since the push-up bra. One thing's for certain: Scientists need to come up with a solution now, before the epidemic spreads to the general public. Have you seen some of those lard asses hovering around the sales racks at Wal-Mart lately?
It's hard to believe that less than a year ago no one had ever heard the words wardrobe malfunction, let alone witnessed one. That all changed when 140 million television viewers watching Janet Jackson's Superbowl half-time show discovered just how chilly it was that night at the Houston Astrodome.
The thing that amazes me is that these malfunctions are continually happening to people who are beautiful as their chosen profession, just as some people flip burgers or fix cars as their profession. In other words, it is their job to be beautiful, and I assume that knowing how to wear clothes would at least be one of the branches in their knowledge tree. The reason I mention this is that I don't pay too much attention to what I'm wearing, and in all my 37 years my wardrobe has functioned just as it was intended. Sure, I've had the occasional open fly, but if that's usually my fault. Anyway, if my sale-rack Wal-Mart togs maintain my modesty on a regular basis, what's going on with these designer clothes? I assume that famous people's clothes are expensive and therefore of a very high quality. Perhaps the Beautiful People Union could go on strike until they could be assured by fashion designers that their clothes would be produced to a certain structural integrity. There could be sort of an ISO-9000 certification for the bustline...
The Wardrobe Malfunction. Some people say that it is the most perplexing problem facing modern man. Other people say it's the greatest blessing since the push-up bra. One thing's for certain: Scientists need to come up with a solution now, before the epidemic spreads to the general public. Have you seen some of those lard asses hovering around the sales racks at Wal-Mart lately?
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
I had a dream last evening that I attended a preview screening of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith in a grand old-fashioned cinema. I sat with S--, a childhood friend who now works in Hollywood, and misteroblivious, who doesn't. I remember saying "I can't believe I scored tickets to this," as the lights dimmed and the thick red velvet curtains parted, ala Moulin Rouge.
STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH
(as dreamed by I.F.)
It quickly became apparent that this final installment of the Star Wars saga was going to be a low-budget affair: immediately after the text crawl at the beginning of the movie, the camera pans down to a starcruiser passing by. It is not computer generated -- it's obviously a plastic and cardboard model that lerches across the screen in a way that would make fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 proud. The audience greets this with laughter.
The camera zooms into the spaceship revealing dozens of storm troopers guarding a prison cell block. This looks half ways impressive until a stormtrooper falls over right before the shot cuts away, revealing that all the troopers are in reality vintage 1970s Kenner action figures. I gasp.
The movie cuts to the interior of the prison cell where all the good guys are being held captive. This is composed of the whole cast of all the Star Wars movies past and present, just like the cover of Vanity Fair, except everyone is in costume. Alec Guiness is there as BEN KENOBI, even though he's dead. He's standing right next to Ewan McGregor. JAR-JAR launches into one of his infantile comedy routines, and HAN SOLO (wearing the same costume from the original Star Wars) has had enough:
HAN: Shut your trap or I'll shut it for you!
LANDO CALRISSIAN (dressed in his cloud city clothes) tries to intervene.
LANDO: Hold on Han! Fighting amongst ourselves won't accomplish anything at a time like this!
HAN: I'll decide what I want to accomplish, you bitch!
HAN SOLO fires his laser blaster point blank into JAR-JAR's face. Blood and tripe sprays everywhere, as if this was the first Star Wars movie directed by George Romero.
There is silence in the movie theatre, except for the sound of a few children sobbing. I stand to my feet and begin clapping... It is a loud, defiant self-righteous clap that wouldn't be out of place in the soundtrack of a socially relevant sitcom like Good Times or Maude. I am eventually joined by two or three other people. But our claps suddenly stop when we see the action on screen: the goo that was once JAR-JAR's head melts away to reveal that JAR-JAR is really A ROBOT..!
And then I awake to the sound of Morning Edition on my clock radio.
THE END
STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH
(as dreamed by I.F.)
It quickly became apparent that this final installment of the Star Wars saga was going to be a low-budget affair: immediately after the text crawl at the beginning of the movie, the camera pans down to a starcruiser passing by. It is not computer generated -- it's obviously a plastic and cardboard model that lerches across the screen in a way that would make fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 proud. The audience greets this with laughter.
The camera zooms into the spaceship revealing dozens of storm troopers guarding a prison cell block. This looks half ways impressive until a stormtrooper falls over right before the shot cuts away, revealing that all the troopers are in reality vintage 1970s Kenner action figures. I gasp.
The movie cuts to the interior of the prison cell where all the good guys are being held captive. This is composed of the whole cast of all the Star Wars movies past and present, just like the cover of Vanity Fair, except everyone is in costume. Alec Guiness is there as BEN KENOBI, even though he's dead. He's standing right next to Ewan McGregor. JAR-JAR launches into one of his infantile comedy routines, and HAN SOLO (wearing the same costume from the original Star Wars) has had enough:
HAN: Shut your trap or I'll shut it for you!
LANDO CALRISSIAN (dressed in his cloud city clothes) tries to intervene.
LANDO: Hold on Han! Fighting amongst ourselves won't accomplish anything at a time like this!
HAN: I'll decide what I want to accomplish, you bitch!
HAN SOLO fires his laser blaster point blank into JAR-JAR's face. Blood and tripe sprays everywhere, as if this was the first Star Wars movie directed by George Romero.
There is silence in the movie theatre, except for the sound of a few children sobbing. I stand to my feet and begin clapping... It is a loud, defiant self-righteous clap that wouldn't be out of place in the soundtrack of a socially relevant sitcom like Good Times or Maude. I am eventually joined by two or three other people. But our claps suddenly stop when we see the action on screen: the goo that was once JAR-JAR's head melts away to reveal that JAR-JAR is really A ROBOT..!
And then I awake to the sound of Morning Edition on my clock radio.
THE END
Thursday, January 13, 2005
This movie truly was DYNAMITE...
Rented Napoleon Dynamite the other night. It was pretty much the funniest movie ever, to infinity. Go rent it now, gosh!
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
That's Na Cho Cheese
Mr. X and his new girlfriend came over last night to watch a movie. We had even picked out what we were going to watch: The MST3K Essentials DVD. But we never got that far, because we heard the sweet siren's song of -- THE NACHO.
Step One: Go to the grocery store and blow a ton of money on nachos, Mexican cheese, sour cream, salsa, taco seasoning and ground beef.
Step Two: In the oven, melt the whole bag of cheese overtop the nachos.
Step Three: Cook the ground beef with the taco seasoning on the grill. (Mr. X and I managed to make this step last two and a half hours.)
Step Four: Pour the salsa over the cheesy chips, pour the sour cream over the salsa, and pour the ground beef over the whole thing. Be careful not to slobber on it.
Step Five: Everyone eat off the same pan. Don't stop eating until everyone is grotesquely overstuffed.
Step Six: Look at the clock to discover that it is now 10 pm. (We began this adventure at 7 pm.) Agree to skip the DVD.
These nachos were so good I felt like I had a hangover later. And then the next day -- Montezuma’s revenge. Today at work I finished using the bathroom minutes before my 11 am appointment showed up. As bad karma would have it, she had to use the restroom before we started. She came back a couple of minutes later concerned that there was a "heavy natural gas smell" in the back of the house. I told her that I would get the landlord right on it...
Now that's the measure of some good nachos!
Step One: Go to the grocery store and blow a ton of money on nachos, Mexican cheese, sour cream, salsa, taco seasoning and ground beef.
Step Two: In the oven, melt the whole bag of cheese overtop the nachos.
Step Three: Cook the ground beef with the taco seasoning on the grill. (Mr. X and I managed to make this step last two and a half hours.)
Step Four: Pour the salsa over the cheesy chips, pour the sour cream over the salsa, and pour the ground beef over the whole thing. Be careful not to slobber on it.
Step Five: Everyone eat off the same pan. Don't stop eating until everyone is grotesquely overstuffed.
Step Six: Look at the clock to discover that it is now 10 pm. (We began this adventure at 7 pm.) Agree to skip the DVD.
These nachos were so good I felt like I had a hangover later. And then the next day -- Montezuma’s revenge. Today at work I finished using the bathroom minutes before my 11 am appointment showed up. As bad karma would have it, she had to use the restroom before we started. She came back a couple of minutes later concerned that there was a "heavy natural gas smell" in the back of the house. I told her that I would get the landlord right on it...
Now that's the measure of some good nachos!
Monday, January 10, 2005
Ug-Ug-Ug-Ug-Ug
I know that I've wasted too much of my life watching television when I read the following news headline:
OLIVE OIL MAY PROTECT AGAINST BREAST CANCER
And the first image that popped into my mind was:
OLIVE OIL MAY PROTECT AGAINST BREAST CANCER
And the first image that popped into my mind was:
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Sunday School, Sledding and Birthday cake.
What a fun day! It was a great day at church. I had a nice group for Sunday School. Although we did have a minor toenail injury while playing "Do You Love Your Neighbor?" After a couple of Band-Aids and a time out from some over zealous players, it all worked out alright.
Almost the whole back row of church was teens today, so refreshing after the expected holiday absence over Christmas and New Years. That's a good start for the new year.
Worship was good, the message was challenging, and the chili and cornbread we ate for lunch (that I made!) was really good after sitting a day to cure.
I had no idea how large the hill was (that some new friends from the church suggested we so sledding on); until I climbed to the top and felt like I was the next contestant on Fear Factor. I am proud to say - I overcame the mountain, or hill, rather. Up and down I went spinning out on foam sleds finished with slippery plastic. Honestly, I think I spent more time climbing and spinning than I did flying down the hill like the red baron. But, it was a blast - and it was free!
After all that, I was able to get together with family for a combined B-Day party for my Mom-in-law and myself. It was the best: chicken enchiladas, angel food cake, presents with my family.
It was a very busy day, and I think I'm going to feel all the hill climbing in morning; but it was a hill top day. I was able to experience so much in this day. Time with my family, church and God. It was the best birthday!
Almost the whole back row of church was teens today, so refreshing after the expected holiday absence over Christmas and New Years. That's a good start for the new year.
Worship was good, the message was challenging, and the chili and cornbread we ate for lunch (that I made!) was really good after sitting a day to cure.
I had no idea how large the hill was (that some new friends from the church suggested we so sledding on); until I climbed to the top and felt like I was the next contestant on Fear Factor. I am proud to say - I overcame the mountain, or hill, rather. Up and down I went spinning out on foam sleds finished with slippery plastic. Honestly, I think I spent more time climbing and spinning than I did flying down the hill like the red baron. But, it was a blast - and it was free!
After all that, I was able to get together with family for a combined B-Day party for my Mom-in-law and myself. It was the best: chicken enchiladas, angel food cake, presents with my family.
It was a very busy day, and I think I'm going to feel all the hill climbing in morning; but it was a hill top day. I was able to experience so much in this day. Time with my family, church and God. It was the best birthday!
Meeza Thinks You Already Have
Film maker George Lucas has announced that after the release of his next Star Wars installment he's "...going to make movies nobody wants to see."
Didn't he already accomplish that goal with The Phantom Menace?
Didn't he already accomplish that goal with The Phantom Menace?
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Eww - Ee - Ewwww - Weeee - Ewwww
That was my text-based imitation of the Doctor Who theme, by the way! The series is coming back after a sixteen-year absence and I can't wait! (Then again, maybe I'll have to wait because there haven't been any announcements yet regarding US distribution!)
Here's a cool pic I came across on the net:
Cool. A new sonic screwdriver. That emits light. ;)
Here's a cool pic I came across on the net:
Cool. A new sonic screwdriver. That emits light. ;)
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Snow Day is a Go Day!
My clock radio woke me up this morning to the news that virtually every school in the county is closed due to a crusty layer of ice that is covering, well, pretty much everything. Picture our county as a giant ice cream cone. Picture ice as that special dip Dairy Queen will put on for you. That's the picture.
So I've taken a personal day, rather than risk the commute. So instead of planning sessions, forms, and curriculum my day will be snowblower, salt, and shoveling. I may even sneak down to the barber (if he's open) for a long overdue haircut and a shave. It's Lamont's birthday, too! So hopefully the weather won't put too much of a damper on her party plans...
So I've taken a personal day, rather than risk the commute. So instead of planning sessions, forms, and curriculum my day will be snowblower, salt, and shoveling. I may even sneak down to the barber (if he's open) for a long overdue haircut and a shave. It's Lamont's birthday, too! So hopefully the weather won't put too much of a damper on her party plans...
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Groking in a Winter Blunderland
In the vast wasteland that we locals refer to as "Chautauqua Whine Country" we haven't had much of a winter yet. But I have already managed to drive the Matrix into a ditch twice so far. This morning I was only going about twenty miles an hour and the car slid into a ditch, almost sideways. Luckily, the car escaped without a scratch. After all, it just landed in a big pile of snow...
After work, I hopped in the car for my fifty-minute commute home and noticed that the steering wheel was really shaking when I went above 30 mph. So I took it straight to the garage to make a service appointment. The nice guy at the counter told me that snow or mud packed around the wheels could be what was causing the shaking, and I might as well go to the car wash and try an undercarriage wash first. Problem solved. Turns out that was the problem. And it only cost me $5 at the car wash versus $43/hr that the garage would have run me. Who says that there aren't any honest mechanics?
Local radio is bracing us for a wicked winter storm this evening. Said it before, will say it again: I gotta be insane to live in Western New York!
After work, I hopped in the car for my fifty-minute commute home and noticed that the steering wheel was really shaking when I went above 30 mph. So I took it straight to the garage to make a service appointment. The nice guy at the counter told me that snow or mud packed around the wheels could be what was causing the shaking, and I might as well go to the car wash and try an undercarriage wash first. Problem solved. Turns out that was the problem. And it only cost me $5 at the car wash versus $43/hr that the garage would have run me. Who says that there aren't any honest mechanics?
Local radio is bracing us for a wicked winter storm this evening. Said it before, will say it again: I gotta be insane to live in Western New York!
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