Remake Remodel

Is there a law that says Hollywood must remake everything?

The latest victim -- er property -- is The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

My tone probably suggests to you that I don't have high hopes for this project. You would be correct in that assumption.

Check out this quote by the director, Matthew Vaughn: "I've always wanted to make a spy movie, and our idea is like nothing you've ever seen before. The name is the only thing that's staying from the original show."

Is it just me or does it seem silly to make a movie based solely on the title of a 40 year-old TV show? I guess the studio could argue that the new project would have some name recognition, but honestly, U.N.C.L.E. isn't exactly one of syndication's great success stories. It just seems like this is a formula for failure -- give the movie a name that makes the uninitiated say huh? and a plot so removed from the original that you piss off its fans, i.e., the very people who would have been the first people in line on opening day.

MEMO TO HOLLYWOOD:

I would like to pitch a movie idea called THE DONNA REED SHOW. Donna Reed will not be in it, and that's not just because she died in 1986. No, it's rather because I envision the lead character played by a male albino midget. Oh yeah, and rather than being about the silly hijinx of a suburban family, THE DONNA REED SHOW -- THE MOTION PICTURE will instead be an erotic thriller set amidst the exciting backdrop of a round-the-world yacht race. I could really use the money, so please send me a movie contract.

Peace,
I.F.

P.S. Wait until you hear my treatment for I LOVE LUCY! (Hint: There isn't anyone in the cast with red hair!)