Glass Family?

Glass Menagerie by: Tennessee Williams
Review by Tara L. Eastman

There is a tightrope that all families walk upon. Mothers and Fathers dance upon a narrow support to care and provide for the needs and desires of each other and their dependent children. Some families have the benefit of both parents to make a tag team tango of us against the world. Many families are carried upon the shoulders of an individual single parent with faces intent upon the goal while their legs and hearts tremble from the load of responsibility. No matter the number of supporting parents or guardians in a family, it is the perfect image of family that challenges many to work tirelessly for an unattainable goal.

There are always clothes to be washed, jobs to go to day in and day out, rooms to be tidied, bills to be made out and children to be cared for. In the midst of our daily dance of life, our children call to us with cheery voices saying; “Dad, will you come play super heroes with me?” or “Mom, can’t you come watch cartoons with me yet?” The childlike requests of our children reflect the lyrics of Harry Chapin’s song “ Cat’s in the Cradle”.

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him".

Our children see who and what we about more than the people we work with or the friends that we may occasionally go out for coffee with. They follow the steps that we take with unflinching attention and before we comprehend it they are grown and have taken on and internally impressed the life they saw lived through us. Our children become like us.

In Tennessee William’s play, The Glass Menagerie, the effect of parent upon children is seen and shared from the perspective of Tom Wingfield. Tom is a young and restless warehouse worker, living with and supporting his southern-born mother Amanda and his crippled and meek sister Laura. Amanda and her children were abandoned by her husband early in their marriage, leaving her to support her children in a time when most women would never had entered the work force – unless widowed or abandoned by their husband as she had been.

A straightforward look into this family can allow the reader to criticize Amanda for her overbearing nature, or Tom for his escapism into movies, drink and books, or Laura for her weakness of spirit and self esteem; but at a more careful view the reader can begin to see themselves and potentially their own family reflected by the characters of this play.

Tom is a young man yearning for adventure and that is something sadly lacking in the occupation he holds as a stock boy in a shoe warehouse. In fact, how many spirited individuals go to work every day while their dreams of creativity and adventure dance just out of reach due the requirements of reality. There is some empathy and understanding for Tom if the reader has ever held a job out of duty to his or her family. Tom desires to be like his father, footloose and fancy free, but the conflict of the care necessary for his Mother and sister jolts him back to the drudgery of the shoe warehouse; at least for a little while.

Laura is a meek and handicapped young woman that desires nothing more in life than to gaze at beautiful things. Had Laura been born into a family of privilege, she would have had the possibility to go to museums and possibly even been trained as an artist. But the circumstances of her birth allow her no place in the world outside of her apartment. While her mother expects her to go to business college or have men calling on her every evening; Laura’s only desire is to look lovingly and care for the glass creatures in her lighted curio.

Laura is like any member of a family that may be emotionally or physically handicapped. Parents can be an advocate for their challenged child and provide opportunities or goals that are attainable. Parents can also become a great hindrance by looking at what they desire and then laying an impossible path to follow at their feet. In fact, this kind of “living through your child” is something that happens no matter the child’s natural ability or desire. Laura’s relationship with her mother is a classic representation of a mother trying to re-live her own youth through the actions and potential of her own daughter.
While Amanda presses her wishes upon Laura’s life and future, Tom understands that Laura just won’t be or become what her mother desires. Laura doesn’t defy her mother’s wishes out of rebellion like her brother Tom. Laura simply isn’t capable of living outside of the world her mother and brother had created for her. Amanda desires Laura to be a savvy businesswoman or a socialite. Tom knows Laura can’t be the debutante his mother desires but never stops to think what Laura could become with a little help and encouragement. The very people that desire to make something more out of Laura’s life have created a trap that she will never escape.

Amanda, Tom and Laura’s mother, is an aging and frustrated woman. Amanda is frustrated by her inability to keep a husband, to birth and raise healthy, happy and successful children, and her own inability to pursue her dreams. Amanda focuses on the grandeur of her youth. Wealthy men used to call on her every night. The townspeople from her southern home used to talk about and look up to her because beauty and abilities. She used to go dancing in beautiful gowns and never think about the cost of the evening. Amanda recalls her youth from the rose colored perspective of decades past, only touching upon regret when mentioning her weakness for the looks and charm of Tom and Laura’s father. Amanda believes that she fell in love with the wrong man and that one decision became the all influencing and damming decision of her entire life. If she wouldn’t have married him she could have married that man who became so wealthy. Then she and her children would not be in a tiny apartments living week to week on her son’s meager wages.

So many people base the making or breaking of a life on one decision. One wrong turn or perhaps that one lucky streak made their life the heaven or hell that is their current situation.

Mr. O’Conner, Tom’s friend from the shoe factory is invited to dinner as a last ditch effort to marry Laura off before she turns one day older. Mr. O’Conner is a lively, outgoing man that had been an old school mate of Tom and an unrequited crush of his sister. Mr. O’Conner fills the place of the eternal optimist in this family dynamic. He is working, going to school to improve himself, and trying to encourage others along the way. Tom expresses his plans to move away and go adventuring and Mr. O’Conner encourages Tom to join him on his own dream of getting into television production. Tom shrugs off the offer, as it’s not the adventure he’s hoping for.

Mr. O’Conner is delighted by the conversation at dinner with Amanda and at this moment the audience can see a glimmer of who she used to be before she abandoned her dreams to would of, should of and could of. As Amanda and Tom exit to the kitchen, Mr. O’Conner and Laura have an opportunity to visit. Laura is shy and stiff but as the conversation carries on she begins to open up and share more of her thoughts and ideas then with any other character in the play.

It is ironic that this visitor that stops merely on an informal invitation has such a great affect upon each member of the family. Amanda expresses more charm and hospitality than ever before and Laura finally sees herself a pretty as he kisses her. The engaged to be married Mr. O’Conner kisses Laura when caught in the moment of overwhelming concern, care and appreciation of her simple sweet nature. He accidentally breaks Laura’s favorite unicorn statue. He unknowingly pushes Tom to make the decision to leave home for good. Mr. O’Conner does apologize for his moment of passion, for the breaking of the glass statue and he sadly departs from the apartment knowing he did all he could to make things right and that it couldn’t possibly have been enough to make any positive permanent change. The glass menagerie was broken before he arrived as he carries the once unicorn now horse away in his pocket as a sad souvenir of the evening.

Mr. O’Conner’s departure from the apartment snowballs into many departures. All of Amanda’s hopes for her children leave with him, Laura departs by simply fading into the scenery and Tom finally leaves to pursue his adventure. While some would say this one man was the catalyst for all these changes, it is more likely that Mr. O’Connor’s character was full of opportunities that the characters just weren’t able to see. One more choice was made after thousands had been made. Tom, Amanda and Laura choose to become overcome by the impossible instead of looking for the potential right in front of them.

Children mimic their parents from a very early age. Laura thought all there was to become was something she couldn’t - a southern belle with many men callers and balls to attend. Amanda thought that she was to be the revered southern mother – wise with the years of her life and respected by her children. All Tom had of his father was a photo, a post card and stories of how charming and adventuresome he was – so he chased after that image, that dream of what he thought he should be. Sadly, Tom does become like his father. Tom is always on an adventure, but he can’t escape the guilt of leaving his mother and especially his sister behind.

The circumstances of life are influenced by more than one decision or choice. Amanda’s future was not set in stone the moment that her husband and son left her. Laura’s ability to succeed in life was not imprisoned by the brace she wore upon her leg and Tom wasn’t locked into abandonment of his family in pursuit of adventure. Instead of dancing when the opportunity presented itself, this family allowed themselves to be paralyzed by tiptoeing around a glass menagerie that they had created.

“I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then.”

Imagine if this family and all the families represented by this play had the freedom to play ball when their children were small and spend time visiting when they were old. The freedom to love each other and play might make up for the handicaps we all have. It is necessary in the complexity of family life to understand that certain chores need to be done. Those daily chores have their place, but what if we were more interested in the people than the chores?
Asking people to live in a museum isn’t really fair – unless the people who live there are just ornaments or images to look at. Families are supposed to make messes, clean them up and then start all over again and again and again. Amanda, Tom and Laura needed to learn how to start over but starting over only works when everyone is willing to see the possibilities instead of the shortfalls. It is only when the potential of the O’Conner perspective is adopted that they will become the beautiful, awkward, imperfect human creation called family.

Good or Bad?

Is humankind inherently good or evil?

I've spent enough weekends chaperoning the junior high boys cabin at camp to state that human nature is inherently evil!

Actually, I'm not sure if my whirlwind tour of worldwide philosophies gives me a conclusive answer to that question. It appears as if people are awed by both cruelty and kindness, as if they are exceptions to the normal routine. The readings keep giving me an impression that humankind is incomplete, and that's what keeps it striving for God, nirvana, self-awareness, wisdom, perfect abs, etc.

Relatively speaking...

Relativism came up in our virtual class discussion today. Relativism can run the whole gamut from denying that there aren’t certain kinds of universal truths to believing there is no such thing as a universal truth.

There's a famous Abraham Lincoln quote that goes, "When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion." I don't think that's a terrible motto for people to live by until its adopted by someone narcissistic. That’s where subjective relativism breaks down for me. It only appears to work for people who already have a highly developed moral compass.

I don’t much buy conventionalist relativism, either. Societies may differ in the fine print, but nobody celebrates the liar, the thief, or the murderer. (C.S. Lewis addresses this in Mere Christianity. I’d post a quote but I’m out of town right now.)

Dissapointed with lemonaid and brownies

I had a plan today. We all worked together to make it happen. It didnt' happen.

At least not the way I had thought.

I had an important person coming to help me with some home projects, so I made red beans and rice. Prepared tilaipia and breaded flounder. My hubby helped me put away the clothes that had taken over the dining room and he also helped me to make brownies. (This is the first time he's baked to my knowledge - so you know this must have been important).

The person arrived on time, observed the project I was finishing. I told them that dinner would be ready as soon as I finished, but they said, "Sorry, if I had known I wouldn't have eaten at Wendys."

I responded, "Well, Ian and I made brownies - I'll make coffee and you can relax for a few minutes."

"No thanks, I have Iced Tea in the car." he responded.

As you can imagine I was rather stunned. In fact I figured that I could set the food out as they worked on the least involved project on the front porch - and the food would be there, the lemonaid would be dancing irrisistably with several ice cubes in a tall cool glass and he surely would change his mind.

"Oh why don't you guys go ahead and eat, I'll just walk some measurements out on the front porch and I'll be on my way..."

The lemonaid didn't work and the tag team brownies held no leverage. He got into his car.

My son ran home from playing at the neighbors and was out of breath. He excitedly asked," If the company here yet?"

To my dismay and frustration ( with myself for not thinking faster), I said - " Oh honey he just went to leave, maybe if you run out right now you can catch him."

The eyes welling with tears and the redenss of my son's face told me that the company had driven away. He had just missed seeing him.

My son had woken up excited to see the company. He had helped me put things away ALL DAY to get ready for the company. He even helped plan what I would make for dinner - in case the company hadn't had a chance to eat dinner yet.

Dinner turned into tear fest. My husband tried to make light of the situation - but we were all so disappointed.

It's not even as if I had asked him to dinner beforehand, but don't you think you'd at least have a glass of lemonaid if it was offered? I know I would.

I let my son go watch a movie with the neighbor - as a way of distraction. I worked for now.

I even called and tried to set something up so my son could visit with the company tomarrow. It's all maybes and we'll sees.

I wish that either I communicated better so I knew what to expect and didn't end up drawing my kids hopes and feelings into situations like this. I wish I had a magic wand that would help "company" see or feel what we feel when they show up, make you feel connected and leave before you can pour the lemonaid.

I wish my Dad was less company and more , well Dad.

I love you Dad and I wish you would slow down to see all the people that love you -
I wish that you could sit and have a glass of lemonaid.

Blessed are the cheesemakers

The assigned selections in Who Are We and The Study of Human Nature left me with a rather great AHA moment. Despite the diversity of worldviews surveyed so far, every one of them shared a common belief that humankind is somehow lacking.

Judeo-Christians view it as sin. The philosophers would say we do not understand truth enough. A Hindu or Buddhist sees suffering as the problem. (That’s three different diagnoses of the problem and we haven’t yet surveyed the psychologists and social revolutionaries!)

While we are not in agreement regarding the specific problem, much less the solution, I find it interesting that at the very least we’re all are in agreement that something is not right with humankind. There is some other action or awareness required to bring an individual to wholeness or full potential.

(People obviously do live unexamined lives in which they are not aware of any lacking on their part, but does any one know of a religion/philosophy of life that sees humankind “just fine as it is”?)

The worst philosophy paper ever!

I have a philosophy paper due at midnight. As I type these words I am less than three hours away from the deadline. I have spent the last three days mulling over the question what does it mean to be human and I confess that I am no closer to the answer than when I began.

Sure, I can churn out any number words regarding love and family, appreciation of beauty and nature, and human achievement. Although I am personally satisfied with those explanations they will not hold up to philosophical scrutiny. After all, there are people who never experience a loving family but I could not (and would not) argue that the lack of this characteristic somehow makes them less than human. The same goes for human achievement. Who can say what contribution (if any) an individual has made to human progress?

Since I couldn’t come up with anything by way of personal observation, I decided to go to the Bible. Then it occurred to me that appealing to scripture is a weak argument because it presupposes that anyone reading this paper is in agreement with me regarding the authority of the Bible. So once again I came up with an explanation of human nature with which I am personally satisfied but isn’t adequate for the purposes of this assignment.

I have yet to define my thesis, but I have defined my problem: if I think hard enough about any statement about what makes a human, well, human, the whole thing collapses. I keep regressing the question the whole way back to I think therefore I am and certain that is not the intent of this exercise. I know that it may be expecting a bit much to come up with an airtight thesis, but it should at least be able to be reasonably defended.

I am going to have to look at this as a learning experience and take my first few baby steps into “doing” philosophy. The best I can hope for is that others in the cohort can assist me by point out the flaws in my thinking. So here goes:

My thesis:

Human beings possess a unique spark that connects their kind and makes them distinct from other living things.

Physical characteristics allow us to recognize each other, but even when there are variations in physical form we still can recognize a human being. In fact, even when a physical form is not present the recognition of the spark is still there. For instance, right now you are recognizing me as a human being even though “I” am solely represented by letters on a computer screen.

Sometimes there are cases where a human refuses to recognize this spark in another human being—say because of racial prejudice—but other people can and will make recognition. Much of the tension we experience with right to life issues stems from people debating when and in whom this spark exists.

We do not confuse other species for humans. Even when we feel a companionship to animals, it is often based on characteristics that mimic the human spark to some degree.

What this means in regards to spiritual formation is something I am still figuring out. It could be the groundwork to further make a case for the spark being the imprint of God.

Yahoo maps, Secret Squirrel, Shows, Mr. President, Dark Roast Coffee, Rubber Stamps and Tornados

What a crazy non-weekend weekend it's been...

Yahoo? I have to write to yahoo maps, because the road trip to State College was great, but not due to their directions. I think they're as confused with the geography of western Pa as I am - which is why you need good direction in the first place. Anyhow, don't use Yahoo if you're driving through the woods = lost!

Secret Squirrels: You are so fun, loving and great to hang out with - being lost in Western Pa was the least stressful experience, because yoou were so cool about it. No complaining ( as long as we found a potty in time) was heard the ENTIRE trip! I can't tell you when that has EVER happened before. Thanks soooooo much for the great time!

The Shows: The venue in State College was called the Loft - really a chapel in an old Nazerine Church. It's really good to see many churches developing a ministry in music again. We've been trying in good old Warren, PA at the Sally Army; but overall --- it's as if there is a wave of adults or adult that are catch ing the wave --- of how the message of seeking after and carrying out a relationship with Jesus can be expressed in christian indy music. I've seen it in my generation and now many of the friends that were so encouraged in their faith in their late teens and 20's are now in their 30's and 40's trying to share the same message with the younger generation through the new generation's music. ( I've seen this wave in Bradford, Warren, and now State College. Let's keep it going guys!) This wave make's sense AS LONG AS THE MESSAGE IS BEING COMMUNICATED CLEARLY!

Last Tuesday was sandwiched between Run Kid Run and The Wedding. The Wedding was interesting to see. I'd have to learn more about them and their music to give more commentary. But the drummer for that band reminded me of a very young Tommy Lee, how funny is that.

But I digress.

Run Kid Run were very good at expressing their faith and capturing worship and rock in a new creative way - how so? We'll yes I bought thier Cd and not only do I like it, my teen daughter likes it, and my 9 year old son too. That is a large age spread and I think they have the makings to reach some various groups of people.

Last Tuesday I have to say is wonderful. Steve, Carl, Chris, Ben and Kristen are amazing people that really deserve some kudos. Not just for the fantastic music that they give to the masses, but for the sincere, caring people that they are. Sometimes in life we don't realize the importance our relationships hold - but I've seen young people encourged to keep up the good fight via the members care in lyrics, text messages and emails; as well as speaking to the fans/friends in person. Thanks so much for that. As a youth worker, I see all the things that bring my students down - you all are people that bring them up! The CD is great - thanks for "The Stand" remake - ahhh the good old days! Go buy the Last Tuesday CD now - no questions - just go get it and give it to a teen that needs to be encourged. That's all I have to say about that.

Mr President: We had the chance to catch up with a dear friend from Warren that is currently attending Penn State as a Political Science major (ie. Mr. President). He showed us around Penn State: Walmart, Northwest Savings Bank, Sheetz, Dennys at midnight and he gave us a place to stay for the night as I didn't want to tackle the Pennsylvania Quad at 3am. I really appreacte the hospitality and williness to be a friend to all the people I brought with me. You're a good guy, Mr. President.

Dark Roast Coffee: I have to say that Sheetz has the best Dark Roast European Coffee because the trip home seemed to speed by - caffine is great for that. We arrived home in under 3 hours thanks to correct directions and bypassing most fo the Pa. Quad.

Rubber Stamps: I spet most of my evening at the WASU show in Warren on Friday night. Some friends of mine had set up the show ( Annie Chaos, Jackie and Mary WOAH!) The managed to put 6 bands in the set! Whew - I was rather content to sit and greet people as they came in. Take their money and stamp their hand to get into the event. I got to visit with some new people, hang out with some of the Embers ( Deb, Carlie, Heather...) and relax until....

Last Band: Falling into Place was the last band to play and I was so happy to see them again. I got to meet the lead singer's fiance Katie and we got to have a nice talk getting to know each other. Isn't it funny that sometimes when you meet someone new it just clicks. Thei was one of those times. Thanks Katie! I once told the guys from FIP that I could tell that they were christians before they ever said, sang or told me they were. They just had a peace and joy about them that was uncontrollably God. It was a full circle moment when Katie told me last night - " I can tell you're a Christian. " Every day I pray that Jesus can been seen in my flawed life. That his love, power and grace can be seen in spite of my humaness. I'll keep praying for that to be seen. Wherever I go, whatever road trips I take, whoever I take with me, whatever bands I see, whoever I meet and build frindships with - I pray that the world sees Jesus. Before I open my mouth and after I speak - Let the world hear Jesus.

Tornado? - I was listening to the band enjoying the show and all the sudden I saw the crowd dissappear! The band started to laugh, thinking the kids lost interest. Later we found out that the funnel clouds had been spotted a few miles away. Parents wanted the kids home and they went.

I said my goodnights, picked up my son, picked up a pizza on the way home and realized it was after midnight. Now it's Saturday - it was the weekend that wasn't a weekend before the weekend - whew I think I'm going to sleep in on Saturday - well today.

Love and Caffine,
Tara

Blacula is beautiful, Frankenstein is ugly

I believe that the universe conspires to distract me from my coursework. I don't think I've ever had a term paper due when the new issue of The Wittenburg Door hasn't appeared in the mailbox.

In this case it was a bag of DVDs left on my porch by misteroblivious. But they were a welcome distraction after wading knee-deep in philosophy for the last week. In fact, they just may have kept my brain from overheating.

Thursday evening I snuck in a viewing of Blacula. Don't let the title fool you. This film is a quite effective shocker with an above average script, only let down by the limitations of its low budget here and there. I couldn't help but compare it to another attempt at contemporizing the vampire legend, Dracula AD 1972. Even though my loyalty to Hammer Films is legendary, I have to say the nod for better picture goes to this blaxplotation effort by American International Pictures. Watch it and you'll agree: That's one strange dude!

Last night I watched the fifth film in Hammer's Frankenstein saga. For the uninitiated, the Hammer movies differed from the old Universal Pictures by following Doctor Frankenstein through a series of adventures -- not his more famous monster.

I guess its appropriate that the Doctor this late in the series has become more of a monster than any of his creations. Peter Cushing plays the part with a sinister edge that was mostly missing in the other films. Sure, the mad doctor was always willing to do horrendous things for the greater good of science, but this film finds him ruining people's lives with sadistic glee. It's not a great film, but it is an interesting twist on the Frankenstein theme -- you'll find yourself rooting for the monster! I watched it during a wicked thunderstorm which added to the fun!

Thoughts on... A Preface To Philosophy

I had assumed that my previous study of cultural diversity, sociology, psychology, and religion had given me some sort of a head start on understanding the fundamentals of philosophy.

I was wrong!

A Preface to Philosophy by Mark B. Woodhouse isn’t a study of the history of the discipline. Rather, it is a guide to the practice of philosophy. The author’s love for the topic really comes through in the writing, which I found to be one of the key strengths of the book--his enthusiasm kept me engaged as a seemingly endless series of concepts were introduced.

I learned that philosophy seeks meaning and truth about issues by using reason to deduce the “most rationally defensible answers.”

I can’t honestly say that I’ve absorbed it all yet. The ideas became a little less distinct the further I went in the book. (I’m referring to my comprehension here, not the writing.) But I came away with the understanding that philosophy is something to be practiced and not just read. I’m hoping that as I exercise my critical thinking skills the less distinct concepts will come into focus.

Woodhouse has produced a brief guide to philosophy in straightforward language. The book also includes brief entries about key philosophers and an extensive glossary of philosophic terms. I would recommend it to anyone who would benefit from a handy guide to the topic—-I know I will certainly be referencing this book again!

Plato Fun Factory

I really enjoyed Plato’s Apology. Reading it slowly yesterday afternoon helped me comprehend the language. Re-reading it today brought out a much greater meaning from the text.

I was especially surprised on the second reading how much humor was present in the text, such as when Socrates asks for the indulgence of speaking in his “native tongue” as a philosopher because he’s a stranger to being on trial. One crack – Meletus, that good man and true lover of his country, as he calls himself – wouldn’t have been out of place in a Dean Martin Celebrity Roast.

I think what impacted me the most was Socrates unswerving commitment to continuing his divine mission, even in the face of death: “…I shall obey God rather than you, and while I have life and strength I shall never cease from this practice and teaching of philosophy…” Passages like that couldn’t help but remind me of Saint Paul’s exclamation to the Corinthians, “Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!” (1 Corinthians 9:16, NIV)

Popular culture, the media, the workplace, and the political parties are always ready to martyr people who don’t declare alliance to “the cause.” I think that the point to Socrates is that you have to be true to who you are and what you’re about. After all, “For wherever a man’s place is, whether the place which he has chosen or that in which he has been placed by a commander, there he ought to remain in the hour of danger; he should not think of death or anything but of disgrace.”

Shopski Sabbath

Maybe it's all the polish food I ate last week at the fair, I don't know. But I woke up with the word "Shopski" embedded in my brain this morning.

Shopski I found after googling is ..."Shopski Cove (Shopski Zaliv ..'shop-ski 'za-liv..) is a 2.6 km wide cove indenting for 1.5 km the SW coast of Greenwich Island, Antarctica, between Triangle Point and the westernmost extremity of the moraine spit protecting Yankee Harbour. The cove is named after the Shoppe Region in Western Bulgaria."

It also is part of a title of bulgarian music - kinda bali/russian sounding. Anyhow, back to shopski. Shopski is where I have been all week - isolated on a wide cove, not able to accomplish a great deal due to the eye injury eariler this week, feeling frustrated and lazy, yet enjoying the rest all in the same. I think in a way "shopski" could be expressed as Sabbath.

Sabbath or "The Hebrew word ("habbat", .., Strong's H7676) means "the [day] of rest (or ceasing)", as it entails a ceasing or resting from labor." Sabbath is something we ALL need, even if we will never admit it. In a way, I think this particular shopski sabbath was one that God declaired for me. Maybe some won't understand the context here, but I often won't stop unless something stops me - I'm a figity wicket of a person. So even thought I'm not fond of the circumstances of this eye injury induced shopski - I am thantkful to have God in my life and appreciate that he knows the greater needs I have and often ignore.

Thanks for the shopski God. Bulgaria can be a beuatiful place.

The Return of the Prodigal Son

A chance encounter with an inexpensive poster forever changes a person’s life. His desire for increased understanding of the image finds him studying the original work in St. Petersburg and delving deep into the scriptures and the recesses of his own soul.

In The Return of the Prodigal Son, Henri J.M. Nouwen created a work of staggering beauty, no less so that the painting that inspired the memoir. A sensitive and introspective author, Nouwen’s body of literature never fails to stir the reader. The Return of the Prodigal Son may be his masterpiece as he lays his soul bare as he identifies with each of the characters in the parable of the lost son.

Henri J.M. Nouwen was a priest, educator, social activist, and prolific author. Despite his many remarkable accomplishments, his writings often give the impression of a somewhat sad and lonely individual. Could this be why the image and story of the prodigal enchanted him so?

The parable of the prodigal son resonates with us even today because it depicts universal themes such as independence, failure, betrayal, loss, forgiveness, love and the search for meaning. The main body of story follows a similar structure to the archetypical masculine journey in literature.

“There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them. (Luke 15: 11 - 12, NIV)

These verses correspond to the first stage of the masculine journey. Our protagonist, the son, lives in a world of opportunity and wealth. But he is fixated on the idea of making his own way in the world.

"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. (Luke 15: 13 - 16, NIV)

The second stage of the masculine journey is pictured in these verses. After finding some initial fulfillment (wild living) the son’s world comes crashing down around him. Not only does he lose his personal wealth, but the entire country experiences a famine. In other words, he is the poorest of the poor. The vile animals he is hired to maintain actually have a better standard of living than he does -- at least they have regular meals.

"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father.

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'

"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate. (Luke 15: 17 - 24, NIV)

These verses illustrate the final act of the masculine journey. The son experiences an awakening as he comprehends the goodness of his father. His transformation is demonstrated by the prodigal expressing his willingness to be a hired hand. Of course, the victory is made complete by the restoration of his sonship by the forgiveness of his father.

Nouwen takes this powerful story and applies it to his inner life, "the home of God within [him]". This is the home where the truest communion with God takes place, stripped of any pretense. His insights are honest -- almost uncomfortably so sometimes -- and reflect his deep understanding and commitment to the spiritual discipline of study.

Nouwen has the courage to drag out into the light the darkest struggles of the human heart. When he writes, “It dawned on me that my best theological and spiritual formation had not been able to completely free me from a Father God who remained somewhat threatening and somewhat fearsome”, he is articulating the struggle of so many people.

Other insights are unique to the author, such as his precious image of Jesus as a prodigal son. Although not a perfect comparison to the son in the story, I personally found it brought out a new richness in my reading of the parable and added depth to my understanding of the life of Jesus.

Reading The Return of the Prodigal Son left me better understanding myself and more in love with God. It is astounding that one person’s attentiveness to a painting and a few lines of text can yield so much insight on the spiritual life. It has made me more committed to cultivating the discipline of study in my own life.

The prodigal son remained close to Henri Nouwen’s heart for the rest of his life. According to the official website of the Nouwen Society, the author passed away in 1996 en route to St. Petersburg to film a documentary about Rembrandt’s painting. The prodigal had returned home.

Things just don't seem to fit

It's late and I should be working on homework, but I'm not. My mind is swimming in too many thoughts and feelings to concentrate on 100 year old poetry and novels.

I suppose some would say that I'm being too egocentric, or that I feel the world relvolves around me - It's not that either. It's just that things aren't fitting right now. (and I'm not talking about my jeans)

It may be that some friends are going "back to school" and leaving me at home, it may be the fact that summer is blowing past at lightening speed and I feel that I havn't had as much time with my family as I should, or it could be my own awareness of growing past some circumstances of my life.

I'm trying to be "content in all circumstances" - but it's hard when more than you're feet are feeling the pinch.

I think I need new shoes - in fact, I know I do.

Let it rain

Jeremiah 14:20-22
" We acknowledge our wickedness, O Lord, the iniquity of our ancestors, for we have sinned against you. Do not spurn us, for your name sake; do not dishonor your glorious throne; remember and do not break your covenant with us. Can any idols of the nations bring rain? Or can the heavens give showers, Is it not you, O Lord our God? We set our hope on you, for it is you who can do all this."
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I was looking at this verse this week and received a great amount of encouragement from it. Maybe it's the exteme heat and humidity that made the "rain" segment of the scripture impress itself upon me so strongly, but the idea of God bringing the rain into our lives is a very powerful expression.

Rain refreshes us, helps the crops to grow, it actually keeps us alive in many senses of the word.

What in my life needs the rain that God gives? Where do I need to be refreshed, watered and given life-preserving respose? Does God need to clean my life up? Will I allow Him to wash me clean, give me rest and life?

God is the one in contol, not me (thank goodness). God help me to remember your authority over all things - even the things I think belong to me.

When I'm weary, dehydrated, wandering, and dusty from the road of life; do I look to You to provide all my needs?
I think it looks like rain....
God open up the skies - let the rain fall over me, in me and let it spill into all areas of my life.